Notes
The Buddha’s definition of Wise Speech is abstaining from these four manners of speech:
Abstaining from False speech
Bhikkhu Bodhi points out that false speech can be expressions of one of the three poisons:
- Lies aiming to gain personal advantage for our selves or others close to us are based in greed.
- Lies which are spoken with the intention to hurt others are based in hatred.
- Lies which are an interesting or amusing exaggeration for the sake of making a joke are based in delusion.
False speech includes both overrating and understating.
Another form of false speech is being engaged in fantasizing which is a form of lying to oneself.
Lying by omission is the decision to remain silent and not speak up in support of the truth.
Abstaining from Slander and Gossip
This is speech that intends to create divisiveness. Slander carries the intention to tear others apart and bring them down. Gossip, whether positive or negative serves to create a separation between us and the other.
Abstaining from Harsh or Abusive Speech
Speech that is harsh or abusive are words spoken in anger that are intended to cause the listener pain.
Categories of harsh speech:
- Abusive speech is scolding, admonishing with bitter words.
- Insult is hurting another by saying something which lessens their dignity.
- Sarcasm is speaking with a tone that twists the meaning of seemingly positive words into something that causes pain.
Abstaining from Idle Chatter
The last of the four instructions is to refrain from useless or frivolous talk. Often we find ourselves engaged in idle chatter in social situations when we talk just to be heard rather than for any meaningful purpose.
As we see more deeply into how these four areas of unwise speech can cause harm, this is an opportunity to come into alignment with the truth. These are not commandments about right and wrong behavior. This is an invitation to look more closely at our speech patterns and train ourselves to hold these instructions with care and mindfulness.
Before we begin to speak we can do a quick check and ask ourselves
“Is there suffering or is there freedom?”—wise view-
“Is my heart open?”—wise intention.
The Buddha offers specific questions to ask ourselves about the situation.
Is this the right time to talk about this?
Is the other person open to hearing this?
Is this of benefit to the person?
What is my state of mind? Do I have only good intentions right now-without feelings of resistance or animosity which would show up in the tone my speaking?
Is this spoken with affection and kindness, with a mind of goodwill?
A summary of wise speech from Ayya Khema:
If you know anything that is hurtful and untrue, don’t say it.
If you know anything that is helpful and untrue, don’t say it.
If you know anything that is hurtful and true, don’t say it.
If you know anything that is helpful and true, find the right time.
Resources
Ayya Khema: Being Nobody, Going Nowhere
Bhikkhu Bodhi: The Noble Eightfold Path
Joseph Goldstein: Mindfulness-A Practical Guide to Awakening